Wednesday, April 9, 2008

What emotion is this?

Sometimes it’s hard to determine what the emotion tied to a relationship is. Do you honestly love or enjoy someone? Are you just lonely? Are you attracted to the drama or whatever outside "blah" the relationship brings with it? I’ve been trying to figure this out in a number of my relationships lately. Sometimes it’s an easy choice, but other times it’s as if they all blur together. It’s been said that relationships aren’t supposed to be hard, but I can’t seem to find an easy one.
This all started the other day when I analyzed the first of many relationships I’d be working on. I called a good friend of mine to discuss some man problems, and we discussed these questions. With the lack of quality men in the area, or the lack of quality men I’m finding, it’s valid. Do I really care for this man, outside of our friendship, or am I competing for his affection? What exactly am I doing in this "relationship?" My feelings are genuine, I’m certain, I think, but that’s sometimes irrelevant or just not enough.
The heart of this is because I no longer date for sport, is this a relationship that I can really see going the ultimate distance? I must figure it out soon, because I have exceeded the indecisive playing age!

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