Tuesday, April 28, 2009

God wants me to know...that He has an important purpose for me, and made everything possible for me to succeed

That's not to say it's an easy purpose, or a convenient one. It might very well seem hard or even impossible, but it only looks that way. The truth is that one day you will look back and see how all the pieces fit together. And how your life has been a complete and utter success.
This is so true! Everything in my life has happened with good reason. It's just been important for me to step back and see those reasons. So often life's changes or setbacks infuriate us. We don't look at the reasons and growth opportunities in those changes or setbacks. Everything happens for a planned reason. There are no coincidences with God.
Let go, and let God!

5 TOP 5's


1. God

2. My beautiful son, Blaise

3. Creativity

4. All things GLAM

5. Fam & Friends

Waredrobe pieces I can't live without

1. trouser jeans

2. cotton knits

3. comfy sundresses

4. wedges

5. clutch bags


1. death

2. roaches and rodents

3. heights

4. uncertainity

5. failure

Current happiest moments

1. Blaise's smile

2. coffee

3. feeling leaving the gym after a great workout

4. my flower garden blooming

5. bubbles in the backyard with Blaise

Hopes and Dreams

1. Blaise never has a bad day. Bad things may happen, but I never want them to absorb to much of his time or him.

2. my jewelry company, blaisedENVY, takes off soon

3. money not be an issue

4. true, complete, self acceptance

5. stability

What are your 5 top 5's?

Monday, April 27, 2009

God wants me to know...that I'm magical!

Every little part of you is magical.Yes, even the parts that hurt, even the ones that are feeling disease right now. It's alright to love what is in pain. More than alright, that's exactly where your love is needed the most. So why not touch that part that hurts and smile at it, at yourself through it, and whisper: 'I love you.'

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My son runs cons.

So tonight Blaise came running into the room after breaking one of the many things he broke today. He was whinning, why I often refer to him as Whinner. He came running to me saying he was a bad boy. My heart was broken. I repeatedly told him he wasn't a bad boy. He's a very good boy that sometimes does bad things. So while we hugged and I felt like the world's worst mother ever, he tricked me into a promise of a scooter and a mini bag of Skittles, a Tootsie Roll Pop, and three plastic filled eggs from a Easter bag owed to someone else. With his guaranteed scooter and goodie bag, he climbed out of my lap and damn near skipped to his room. He got me!

Friday, April 24, 2009

About my Garage Sales

I faithfully have two garage sales a year. I love having garage sales. I wish I could have one every other month. It's good for me. I'm the daughter of a pack rat, who is the daughter of a Great Depression survivor. I need this to stop the cycle.
I think they are very therapeutic. It's important to purge. I find that I accumulate far to much clutter, especially with a young child. We are changing wardrobes often, whether he's growing out of it, the season changes, or I simply change my mind. Plus clothes don't hold up well. They fade. They shrink. They stretch. They stop fitting the perfect way they did when I purchased them. Or, I bought this, that, or the other with great intention just to later decide, after the receipt is long gone, I don't want it anymore. My son changes favorites every week. So, we end up with this abundance of "last week's" favorite toy, book, action figure, or whatever. We could quickly grow out of space if this stuff stayed around. I also feel you don't bring anything in without taking something out. This is a hard belief to live, but I'm trying! Plus, it's money in my hand.
I recommend a yearly garage sale to every family. It wards off the possibility of becoming a pack rat.
What put this whole garage sale thing on my mind is the loss of an old friend. I looked around my area and was sad. If I died today, my family and friends would deal with my death and the work to go through and clean up my things. If family came in for my service my grief stricken family would be forced to break out the trash bags and bins before they could entertain guest. Now honestly, I'm hoping they, and everyone I know(knew), are grief stricken! So although my place isn't a natural disaster it's purge, organize, and clean time! Now it's really, honestly, I promise, not that bad, but it's not the best it can be either.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

God wants me to know...that love is effortless

True giving happens when you are overflowing from the inside, and cannot help but share. When there is so much love within you that it has to flow to others or you would burst open. There is no thinking involved, no willpower in such sharing. It just flows out. If you have to force yourself to be kind, to love, to feel compassion, you've missed the first step of filling in your own Self with these emotions.

This is so true! When I have to force myself to give of myself, it's time to take out the mirror and do some analyzing.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

God wants me to know...the time is now

I am really enjoying this Facebook application. If you are a Facebook member add this app to your profile too.

On this day in your life, it's time to STOP going through the motions of living, and START living. Are you willing to do that now? Or are you going to wait until all life energy drains out of you and your loved ones who are trying to support you at this very moment? You were not born to follow rules and regulations. Living starts with dreaming. So dream, dream friend, and let dreams show you the path to your bliss.


Reminising on young love

For whatever reason my mind travelled back to my 1st major relationship. His name was Steven. I would change the name to protect the innocent, but I'll just slip up and use his real name later. So what's the point? Steven was two years older than I was. When we met he'd just graduated high school and I was going into my Junior year. He was so handsome. He'd come by my job with a friend of his. I worked as a sales associate at the Buckle. We ended up exchanging numbers and were in a relationship quickly. It's funny but most of my romances are because a guy tells me I'm his girlfriend, lol.

So we had this 1st and 2nd base relationship. There was a lot of kissing, fondling, and hand holding. I was a virgin, and he hadn't earned my treats. So for a few months we had a great summer "thing," then he left for school in Florida. I was so upset. Then, he stopped returning my calls, cheated on me, and dumped me. I slipped into a deep depression and thought life was over. Well, that's extreme, but I was sad.

Then he'd return, I'd be on cloud nine, and he would let me down. He was running a game on a number of us silly girls trapped by his killer smile. Then the fall of my senior year I accidentally ran into his ex-girlfriend who wanted to beat my ass when she found out who I was. Turns out that the sweet Steven who loved me so much still loved her at the same time. Thank God for friends who realize there's only 6 degrees of separation, but don't tell you until you are separated. Eventually, I was done with the "love." I wanted to be his friend. Of course that didn't work out, and now I don't know if he's dead or alive. Funny, not whether he's dead or alive, but how things change...for the better, best!

Young love now makes me laugh. I say to young devastated girls all the time, within a year he won't even rank in your life. It took me a couple years with Steven, but still the same.

Sugar is evil and I have the face to prove it!

So I've been obsessing about my skin. I mean in the mirror fifty times a day staring at every little blemish. They are so small they aren't even worthy of makeup. They are just there to bother me. Each and every blemish is there to harass me. Yep, they are. So I started trying to trace back the culprit. Well it's almost always sugar, liquid sugar in fact. What have I been drinking? Well I down about 6 cups of coffee a day and water. I don't drink much outside of those two things. Days can even pass without me venturing past my coffee and water. So what is it? So I searched the Folgers canister for nutritional information as I pulled the creamer out of the 'frig. The creamer! My French Vanilla International Delight creamer is killing my almost 30 year old excellent complexion. There's about 12 gazillion grams of sugar in this creamer, per serving. I use 2 tablespoons a serving, two servings a day. On top of that I'm out of my treasured Equal. So, I've been using a pack of Sweet and Low and a pack of sugar, because I need the sugar to cut the bitterness of the Sweet and Low. Wow, I am so hyped up on sugar it amazes me my face hasn't just turned into an oozing crater of never to date again hideousness! Why didn't I realize this before? The beginning of the break out I just blamed on the almost dozen Sprinkles cupcakes I'd been helping myself to. Wait, so last week I downed cupcakes and a cup of sugar a day. What the hell is wrong with me? That's why I've also been moody, over my guy, letting my kid get away with murder, and seeing double. I mean literally, my eyes have been nuts. My treasured coffee is taking me back in time. No, not to my tight waist and virginity, but to puberty's cursed pizza face. What's worse, I bypassed acne then just to get hit with it now.

"If you have a tough time slowing your pace at the dinner, try stopping before you feel full… I can't guarantee the practice will work; however, you have nothing to lose but weight." - Dr. David L. Katz, MD

Monday, April 20, 2009


When I get tired I look forward to rest, relaxation, and just plain ordinary sleep. I love my sleep. I don't get near enough of it! I just think there's something euphoric about climbing in my nice warm bed, snuggling up to all the pillows, pulling the cover up to my neck, and closing my eyes. I stretch and wiggle until I'm in the perfect place. Then I talk to God, think over my day, preplan tomorrow, and drift off to beautiful sleep. I love that process!

Now my son on the other hand, doesn't go down without a fight. He hates bedtime. He refuses a nap. He doesn't believe in sleep. Rather than go to sleep he prefers a few tantrums, screaming at the top of his lungs, trying me to no end, and begging for food or drink. He doesn't really like sleep, to say the least. What?! Then to top this off, he can wake up like the sun shines through his eyes. He pops up with the most adorable "G'morning mama!" How does this work?

Back to me, I either jump out of bed like a crazy person because I heard a bump, or think I slept through the alarm, or I curse whoever interrupted my euphoria.

I have to get it together. I have to get him together. We need to get it together!!!

God wants me to know...that I cannot wait anymore

Facebook has this application called God wants you to know. So of course I took the bait, because I felt if there was anything God wanted me to know I wanted to hear it! Without any questions it randomly gives you a motivational word. I love a motivational word. So as only God can do, I got the right 'random' motivational word for me. It is this, the moment has finally come. You have no choice. You have to take that step now. Now. Not tomorrow, not in an hour, - Now! If anyone else is reading this, they would be confused. But not you. You know exactly what we mean. Do it. Now. The down side is I don't know what that one step is. I think it's a number of little steps that equate into some big movement. Movement that I need now!

Whoever happens to read this I hope can see their own steps in it. It's true that you maybe confused by the step(s) I need to take, but there's something in this message for you too.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Okay it's happened, I'm over the single life

Well being over the single life is only half true. I want an option to the single life. I want half a boyfriend. I need a guaranteed date, someone to take out the trash, kill the bugs, and hold me at night. I don't want anyone who will infringe upon my freedom. I don't want to have to answer to anyone about anything either. I just want half a boyfriend. Do they sell them like that?

I figured this out the last time I laid in some one's arms. I was like, WOW I like this. Then shortly after he questioned where I was going and why. I was like, WOW I'm over this. How do I find the right blend?

I say all of this right after being happy that my last 50% of a relationship ended. It just wasn't the right 50% of a relationship. It was two people too satisfied to give just a little bit of ourselves. I don't think either of us were in it. It comes back to the fight we put in for our relationship. We were both finally single and emotionally available at the same time. We see it crashing and burning, but refuse to give up after the work to get there in the first place. It's punishment.

I think I want what I know I shouldn't aspire to have. Outside of the obvious ridiculousness of half a boyfriend, I am stuck in rose colored glasses. I want someone to give me 100% and be okay with me just offering up a wavering 50%. The man who would be okay with this isn't really the man I want in the first place.

Also, I have a crush. I have a crush on a man who has no idea I have a crush on him. He knows I exist and we have convo, but he doesn't know about my crush. I'm obsessed with how creative he is, how handsome he is, and how cool he is. I'm turned off that he's physically my destructive type. I am doing this unconsciously, lol.

So the real question is do I really want a relationship, a half boyfriend, or do I just want my crush? Hmmm...

Monday, April 13, 2009

The mirrors in my life

I know who I am. I live with this body, this face, and this personality. I cannot escape me. I am stalking myself, lol. I make it a point to keep mirrors in my life. I think it's important. I am, by far, my worst critic. I am a realist. I know what my hang ups are. I don't sugar coat anything from myself. I think it's important to really look in the mirror everyday of your life and face yourself head on. I believe all these things.

I also think that if you can totally accept yourself as you are today no one can tear you down. If you know that you are pleasantly plump, with beautiful curves, and toning more and more everyday, no one can call you fat and it stick to your feelings. Knowing that your big ass, big nose, big teeth, or big feet belong to you, make you who you are, and add to your beauty defeat the insensitive ass that would try to use these things against you the first time they feel inferior.

I am not a slim girl. I have not been a slim girl in a long time. I workout to become a healthy girl though. That's important to me. I have this crazy neck too. It's a family neck, no turkey similarities, but it is a little rollie pollie. I get annoyed by it, but no one's perfect. I have big feet for my short stature, but I love my tall fabulous friends who I can share shoes with. I don't have the most shapely legs, but I'm really strong and my legs are there, healthy, and can workout on the eliptical for at least an hour and fifteen minutes at a time. I am full of flaws. BUT, I am also overflowing with character and personality. I am who I am, and because I have accepted it whole heartedly no one can steal it away from me or make me feel bad about it!

A little sprinkle of appreciation

I had a friend from high school do me an amazing favor this Easter weekend. I desperately wanted Sprinkles cupcakes. I have moved from a Sprinkles headquarters to an area Sprinkles won't even deliver to. Devastated! So a girl from high school promised to being me some when she visited her brother here in town. I gave her my little half dozen order, and sang and danced my excitement. Like she promised, that weekend she arrived with my Sprinkles. I asked her how much I owed her, she said don't worry about it. It was my Easter gift. WOW! I was touched, but I wanted to gift back to her. She refused. I begged until she accepted a few pieces of my jewelry. We chatted. We hugged. We departed. I rushed home, pulled out an air proof Tupperware container, because Sprinkles says so, and snatched the box out of the bag. It was a dozen cupcakes! It was a dozen cupcakes! I was floored. How sweet of her! I shared, but we plan to eat more than we give.

My heart was so full from cupcakes. What she didn't realize was I'd had one of the worst weeks of my life. It's been so hard. I've been attacked so strongly by someone who certainly has no right. I've been in tears more than not, in the last seven days. It's been so hard. I wanted those cupcakes. Those cupcakes meant more to me than she realized. I was looking for peace in those cupcakes. How silly! The even funnier part is I am a single mother. I own a struggling business. I am a full-time student. I have very little unclaimed income, lol. I was in no position to purchase $20-$40 cupcakes. I'm robbing Peter to pay the attorney now. My friend gifted me an amazing gift without even realizing it. I thank God for Easter, and great friends who gift cupcakes at the right time in the right place!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Thursday, April 9, 2009

My Ideal Man must...

Right before going to class my on again, off again, relationship crashed and burned again! So while giving 50% of my attention to my professor I devised a list of the top qualities of my ideal man. Of course I have a long list of the physical attributes I'd love to look at and hug up to every day, but this is more about the personality qualities I need the man in my life to have.

1. CHARISMATIC - I love how appealing a charming man is.
2. DEPENDABLE- I need someone that I can count on.
3. LOYAL - A loyal man will not cheat, will remain trustworthy, and always be true
4. SPIRITUAL AND RELIGIOUS- To love me you must love God.
5. STRONG - I want a man physically, emotionally, and mentally strong.
6. STABLE - He must be mentally and emotionally stable.
7. FOCUSED - He must have an agenda that he is committed to.
8. INTELLIGENT - I need to be able to have a thought provoking conversation.
9. ROMANTIC - I'm a girly girl. I want to be wined and dined.
10. GOAL-ORIENTED - I need a man who can see past today and plan for tomorrow too.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Showcase...to who?

I had a showcase over the weekend that I would consider unsuccessful. It was a failure. I consider any showcase that does not result in sales a failure. I understand that showcases offer the chance to grow the amount of etsyers that "heart" me, build up my views, and the potential of a treasury inclusion. It gives me the opportunity be seen by all my fellow crafters. I understood this and have pumped a considerable amount of money into showcases. I think about my time. The time I have dedicated to filling my inventory, taking and retaking pictures, building the perfect lists, and corresponding with anyone asking any questions. I compulsively watch the number of views change. I compulsively check out the competition. I compulsively spend the day being compulsive.

I have had a eureka moment though. This moment came in a scenario. If I were a competitve jelly maker at a jelly making competition how would I conduct myself? I would make my jelly, put it in a decorative jar, and design a beautiful presentation. I would dress to impress, and be ready! Just before the the judging started I would walk the mile. I'd size up all my competition. I would try their jellies, and maybe even steal ideas that I could revamp and make better. I would smile warmly at my competition. Then I would return to my seat and begin writing down all my new ideas and never to do ideas. I would fluff my own booth, check my makeup, and smile at all the other last mile competitors and wait for the judging to begin. That's a showcase. I know that I visit the showcase to see what my competition looks like. I "heart" some sellers and items. I get giddy when I see someone pair something I'd only thought of. I jump off line and go create my new piece. I appreciate that showcase for the ideas it sparked. That's it.

I need to walk away from showcases. I have to stop showcasing myself to my competition and co-workers. I need to get out in the world and take advantage of everyone else. Truly, etsy is merely a neighborhood in the world wide web. There's so much untapped opportunity. So I need to post new pictures on my Myspace, www.myspace.com/blaisedENVY, and I need to fill my Facebook with more blaisedENVY information. I tweet on twitter, www.twitter.com/blaisedENVY. I blog like crazy at http://www.CRAZYglamorous.blogspot.com/ and http://www.WORKINGonTODAY.blogspot.com. I belong to www.etsyaoc.ning.com/profile/blaisedENVY, www.etsylove.ning.com/profile/blaisedENVY, and www.mycraft.com/blaisedENVY. I have the avenues to pull in business. I just need to take advantage of them! It's time to stop relying on etsy to make my mark and simply appreciate them for what they are. They are the backdrop of my business, kind of like a pegboard. I appreciate they host all my viewing parties, but they did not sign up to fill out the invitations and do the goodie bags. I'm getting realistic about this, EUREKA!

Monday, April 6, 2009

I'm not broken

Some people don't mean us any good. Some people are looking for ways to tear us down. They are so dissatisfied with their own beings they look to destroy others. Why does it always seem to be those closest to us?

I have been brutally attacked over the last few days by someone who had zero right. This person has called me names and threatened my safety. They have drug my family into things. They have shown their true colors, and they are ugly. I've never had someone say the things to me this person has said. Their behavior has been cruel, harassing, rude, immature, and sinister. This person has also continuously brought God into this madness, how God feels about me, what God will do to me, etc. Seriously? You would allow the name of the God to be the chaser to the fifty two obscenities you just hurled at me? Instead of worrying yourself over my relationship with God, you should reexamine your own.

This stems from them not getting what they wanted from me when they wanted it. They have failed to realize that in some situations it's way more than the surface. There maybe lots of key players in the story that have to be taken into consideration. It's very important to think major decisions through completely. I repeat, it is very important to think major decision through completely.

I have found I have to be more careful with myself. I cannot allow the ignorance of others to effect me so profoundly again. I cannot share any information with people who have the potential to use it against me later. I have to be far more careful who I chose to share my body with because having a child with someone is a lock greater than imprisonment. When that person has continued ignorant behaviors you must be both parents, mediator, and put on every other hat in the closet. Your knees may become sore from kneeling in prayer so often. Your head will hurt from the ridiculous behaviors. Your heart will break from acts of someone who once told you they loved you. But, you will find peace when you give it to God and step back.

I finally stepped back. I stopped responding. I stopped taking calls. I stopped getting wrapped up in the madness. I prayed over him. I prayed for him. I washed my hands. I walked away. Thank God!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

I'm breaking

I have more than I can handle. I know scriptures say the Lord will not give you more than you can handle. I don't mean to question God, but I'm breaking under the weight of my life. I'm breaking. I don't know what to do anymore. I am breaking. God help me.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

My man is just my type...ugh!

I had a shocking revelation today. I mean so shocking I spent the next 30 minutes with extreme nausea. I seem to have a type of man. I just realized this. My man is African-American, light skinned, pretty, with perfect full lips, curly hair, football star's build, and an amazing smile. He has excellent sex. Yet, he is dumb as a box of rocks, emotionally unavailable, and the thought of him makes me throw up in my mouth just a little bit. He is typically the underdog.

Wow, my type is a very ridiculous! I mean I can see more of my self sabotage everyday.

This all began because I wanted to try again with my most current underdog, P. Wait, to rewind even further this is me. I love to be loved, but I hate to feel the slightest bit of suffocation. I like to talk on the phone and text, but I need my space. I need my space everyday during my wind down at least. Don't send me lots of cards and flowers. Buy me things that are me specific and remember actions speak louder than words. I do love to get all dolled up and go out on the town, but I am far more impressed with a dinner prepared for me and an evening designed around me. I'm an easy girl to work with. You have to really try to screw up to screw up. I am underdog motivated, how high have my expectation really been? That brings me to P. P is MIA quite often. He's so absent I forget he exists. That's another thing, I am a creature of habit. If you don't become a part of my norm you will fall off my radar. When he is in existence it's as if we are having conversations with two different people. We don't seem to follow each other. We don't know each other. We haven't had enough quality constant time to determine if we even like each other as people, but we've been doing this date dance on and off for 3 years.

He falls off for a few days then he is so desperate for me again. Nope, I don't think he's seeing someone else. Nope, I don't think he's gay or a gigolo. I think he's just that clueless about relationships, and that self fish, that he thinks I should be happy with whatever crumb of him I get. LMAO! I really believe this. He gets to go live his life uninterrupted. He contacts me with all the sweetness he can muster when it's convenient for him. Ahhh, bullshit. This is just becoming obvious to me, sad. I mean I don't even think about him much either because when he falls off my radar he falls off completely. I'm a single mother, business owner, student, if you don't stay present in my life you really will get lost in the shuffle.

Now P is the new D. I dated D more than once, more than twice. D and I were always dating again because we had never gotten closure the time before. D is physically P, or P is physically D. They have the exact same features down to the curl pattern in their hair. They are both incredibly handsome men. They are also both idiots. At least D and I had stimulating conversation and often. He was just dumb in general relationship areas. One of those don't date anyone else type of men, because when he figures out what and who he wants to really be involved with it might just end up being you. But you were only going to get the shell of a relationship from him. Yep, that was D. Also, D was clocked out on life. He was living off what bad decision had led him to this place and why that made him sad. He was working a job he hated. He was caught up in someone else's family and someone else's life. The guy that just lives vicariously through his older brother, goes with his family on trips, dinners, events. The attached third wheel or unwanted sidecar. I mean they didn't mind, I don't think, but I did. Why don't any of your weekend stories have just you, or you and your friends, or just you and me in them? Your stories are you, your brother, his wife, their kids, and their kids' friends.

So D and I just fizzled out finally at some point. One of us stopped returning the other's calls and the other didn't noticed until a phone number had changed. It wasn't explosive and angry, it was time for a change and we didn't fight it. P and I are here too. We have known each other for years now, somewhere between 3 and 5. It has no potential to get better. We are just holding on because we tried so long to hook up and it was never convenient for us both at the same time. We finally got to each other. We thought this was what we wanted. We were sure we would be perfect for each other if we could just hook up. We were wrong. Now we're punishing each other for it.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Weight Monster, again, with his friend Body Issue Alien

"Women do that. We compare our worst to every body's best." -Marie Osmond, talking about body issues and weight

YES!!! I find that I will compare my flaws to the perfect airbrushed photos in magazines or nip'd and tuck'd stars walking the red carpet. Why do I do this? Why do we, as a gender, do this? I'm typing this and staring at Oprah's new hair and wondering why I can't get my hair to have that body. I can't do it because I don't have a team of the best of the best celebrity hair stylists. I can purchase a matching hair piece or wig though, it will hold my jealousy at bay. Also, I want the curves of the entertainment beauties, but I have to remember it's harder without a chef and trainer. So for this obsession, I'll go cash in my mad money change jar, buy a new pair of Spanx, and with the rest a clip on Oprah Winfrey hair piece.

Seriously with all the products and information out there, it is possible to beat the weight monster and body issue alien, but it's important to be realistic!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Creative bound

I remember being in elementary school, through junior high, making these necklaces out of seed beads, fishing line, and safety pins. It was a business, a marketing tool, an image. I had so many of them, I could coordinate most any outfit. I was even turning my friends on to them too. It was fun. I liked the process. I liked getting my folks to venture into the craft section of Wal-Mart to let me pick out new beads and value bags of safety pins. I liked that people would see some of my necklaces and be jealous and have to have one to, at a price.

I even remember going on a school field trip in 7th grade, I think, to this behind in the times reenactment place. I was bored out of my mind until I ran across the little lady pretending to make beads. She had this jar full of beads in front of her. I would never believe she had really made them herself, but that was beside the point. I saw beads. I saw beads no one else at school had. I saw my classmates laughing at me for buying beads from a woman in a bonnet with a sleeping German shepherd. Seriously, I saw beads that were going to be so turn of the century cheap I could do some major damage. And, I did. I bought a handful and went home and made some pretty fantastic junior high quality necklaces. Sold out in no time.

I should have known. I was a trendsetter. I did what I wanted and didn't apologize for it. I liked that about young me. I can remember in 8th grade jellies, the plastic shoe, came back in style. Wow, I was so excited. I loved jellies when I was young, younger. I begged my mom for two weeks, until she finally bought me some on sale at Target. They were old school sandal type, clear with a woven top and low ankle strap. AMAZING! I went home and pulled out my best crazy printed socks and matched up a Monday outfit. I was so ready for school. I remember being caught off guard when everyone teased me on Monday. It wasn't bad teasing, but obviously they thought it was a joke. Hell nah, I was super serious! I kept it up. Everyday I had a new fab outfit, crazy sock, and clear jellies sandals. Everyday that week, I stepped out like a runway model. Everyday that week some ultra popular, my shit don't stink, girl had something to say. I did not care. I had fought my mom for those shoes and I would wear them to death. So when the week ended I felt that I had really accomplished something. I had stared down a lion, dressed as a 8th grade girl. The next Monday every laughing commenting 8th, and trying to be cool 7th, grade girl were walking down the halls in multi colored jellies or crazy jellies and sock combinations. I was furious. Posers!

That's who I am. I do what I think is fashion. I am a creative force and I like to live it. Because that's what style is. It's what fashion means. It's the opportunity to blur lines and interpret things the way you want. The only thing that matters is fit and appropriateness.

All this to say, I love my jewels. I love the way they make me feel and the statement they make. I love how accomplished I feel when I create them or when I wear them. I love being creative. I thank God for this blessing. It's AMAZING!

Little did I know, many never to be counted, years ago I had discovered my destiny.

compulsively working


The term DIVA was originally used to describe a woman of rare outstanding talent. The term derives from an ancient Italian word meaning "goddess," Which in turn, derives from the feminine form of a Latin word divus, meaning "divine one."

Thank you Facebook friend, life friend, for this definition.

This all started in a Beyonce song bash, "Diva is the female version of a hustla...of a of a hustla...of a of a hustla." No, it's not. It's really really not. I don't care for this song, nor did my friend, because this word has far more class than a broken noun like "hustla." It's not attractive in my eyes to be just some hustla. Diva is not something I've been aspiring to be either, but would much rather be called. I want to be a business woman or a mogul. Yeah, mogul. I mean after it is earned of course.

I just think it's time for us to stop revamping words and changing their definitions. It's time to stop making the words easier and start trying harder. I know some "hustla's." They are the norm in their environments. They are not thinking or doing anything outside the box. They don't embody excellence. They seem slightly better than average, at most. Then I also know business women, community leaders, entrepreneurs, role models, and volunteers that I would call DIVA! It's not about being the flashiest or the most fab. It's about taking who you are and making everything around you better with it. It's about locating your talents and making a change with them not because it amplifies who you are, but because it amplifies your surroundings and those who surround you. Divine one.