You cannot build a relationship on lust. You cannot expect that someone will ever make the changes you want, or need, them to make in their personality or character. There is a strong chance that what you have is what you will have.
I have been very guilty of establishing relationship with the so called perfect man. He looks good on paper. That typically means he is handsome, employed, has a good family, and buys me pretty things. Actually that doesn't guarantee he's all of those things. He may just be some of them. Now coming from a good family must be on the list. I'm not signing up for crazy! So, I fall head over heels in love. We have sex, and because God is tricky, it's incredible. I am done.
Then shortly after it starts, it ends. But we continue to sleep together, because it seems right.
Things get far more complicated than they should be, and I'm devastated before long.
So I get it, you can't build a relationship off a checklist. You can't jump into bed with someone you aren't sure you can hold a conversation with. You can't give you heart to the man that just buys you what you ask for. You can't expect that everything will fall into place as easily as your bodies entwined. That's silly. It's crazy.
My mother once told me that I should look at the father of my crushes. My handsome man will grow to look like him. The day could come that sex is no longer an option I want. What happens when he's purchased everything I ever wanted? Am I really into him, or is he just the best thing going right now? Will I regret my choice one morning as I realize I've committed to all his annoying behaviors? Is he just generally annoying as a person?
There was a man that was handsome and strong. He made me feel beautiful, but he was also as dumb as a box of rocks! He couldn't carry a conversation if it was about him. He was exhausting. I'd been roped into dating him because he was my type. I love a buff, not too buff, light skinned, not to light skinned, good hair having, deep voice talking, gorgeous man! IN MY LIFE EXPERIENCES, those have been my idiots. So he was dismissed quickly, but it took him months to figure it out, LOL.
I have had to make a change. Sex is no longer on the table. I'm dating for life now, no more fun and games. If it is not a potentially OUTSTANDING fit, I'm not even participating. Charity is for those in need. My needs are few, and that's not one.
Lust doesn't last.