Journey to Thirty #14 - Realization: The Bucket List

So after reading an incredible blog by "Nya's mom," I decided to rededicate my time to creating my bucket list. I have created one numerous times that I haven't fully committed to. I'd mark off a few things, and then let go of the idea all together. Now, I'm all in, balls to the wall, ready, set, and go. I am going to accomplish some goals. This won't be by accident. This will be because I made the decision to do something different!

1. Take my education further. I've spent years trying to decide what the next steps are in my educational goals. Honestly, I'm still not certain what the goals are, but I know there's a need to go further. That much I can focus on.
2. Figure out what my educational goals are while continuing my education.
3. Vacation. Vacation every year. Even when money is not perfect, and some goals are not yet attained, I have earned a vacation. I must take time off from work and go somewhere that's not where I live. Even if I don't board a plane, train, or boat, I will take time for myself.
4. Be a successful business owner. I don't have all this business owner stuff down to a science, but I will. I enjoy the pride that comes with business ownership. I even enjoy the work. So it's time for me to do more of the work to get more of the pride. This business will not push itself. I need to clock in to my future. I will find my niche. I will push my niche even further than it was destined to go. I am determined.
5. I always wanted to go Los Angeles and to New York. Check. Check. I wasn't thinking big enough then, but I am now. I want to vacation in Italy. I want to see the city of water before it is under water. I want to take a gondola ride. I want to always be able to say this, insert item, is just a little something I picked up during my vacation in Italy. I want to take 5 cruises. Why 5? Why not 5? I want to cruise with my son. I want to cruise with myself. I want to cruise with my friends. I want to cruise with my husband, who ever he is. And, I want to cruise with our family. 5. I want to have my Passport stamped. I need to get a Passport.
6. Get a Passport.
7. Be published. I've always loved to write. I've been holding out hoping to finish something incredible and have it published for longer than I care to mention.
8. Finish writing something. There are enough started novels, half-assed plots, and pieces of dialogue on my hard drive to fill a library, a small library.
9. Do radio. I like the comfort of hiding behind my words. I doubt that's why many people get on radio, but it's a part of my plan. I'm funny. I'm witty. I also suffer from debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. I would like to be able to showcase me without fear of being a victim of this disorder.
10. I'd like to get over the panic attacks. How can I write a bucket list that's giving my disorder this much power? I want to stop being afraid of the possibility of being afraid or nervous. I want the show I put on for those I'm most comfortable with, my blog readers, and those that hear me occasionally on a voicemail to be who I always am. I don't want to hide from life. I want the anxiety and panic attacks to be something I talk about in the past tense.
11. So although #9 would be tons of fun. I want to be on TV. Let me have 15 minutes of fame, on a regular basis. If I get it, no one will be disappointed.
12. I want to be the outer fashionista I am on the inside. So, as I get my weight in check, my wardrobe in check, and my attacks in check. I want to walk around marketing myself as the fashionista I am inside. I can't be a fashionista, fashion blogger, opinionated ass, and stylist wearing yoga pants, a print tee, and a scarf. Well I could, because I make that outfit look really fly, but I need variety. I need versatility. I need to portray who I claim to be. I can't really do that well in yoga pants, a print tee, and a scarf. Try as I might, not even I'm that good.