Weight Loss...again

I'm finally figuring this weight loss thing out. It's all about knowledge. It's about reading the nutritional information, the scale, and the clothing sizes. It's about being realistic about my expectations and the work required to meet those expectations. I have some long term goals that I'm not ready to commit to, so I need to keep my focus on my short term goals. As I tackle them one by one, I can see how they effect my long term goals.

I am really beginning to make this healthy living stuff work for me!

My Body is AMAZING

Okay it may not curve exactly, just, where it should. It may not be beach ready or the summer's hottest new thing. It's normal, and it's flawed, and it's working it's ass off for me everyday.

Explained: I've been so stressed out lately. I've had so many changes in my life. There are relationships that have pulled me through so much turmoil I didn't think I would make it through. There are situations that I have beat myself up over, because I created something I didn't think I could handle. I have been in some hard, very difficult, places lately.

In those places I gave into every craving. I ate sugar like it was the only thing on Earth to eat and I washed down every bite with big cup of caffeine. I slept crazy hours, as usual, and killed myself at the gym. I punished myself over and over because of the crazy I'd allowed in my life.

My body never gave in. My body stepped up and made me get myself together. My body started insisting on changes I didn't want to make. It took back control. That's why overweight and out of shape aren't good enough for my body. I have to get it together, because my body is amazing. I have to make the outside fit the inside. I want the world to know.

I want everyone to take a break from complaining about what's not right and appreciate what is.

The mirrors in my life

I know who I am. I live with this body, this face, and this personality. I cannot escape me. I am stalking myself, lol. I make it a point to keep mirrors in my life. I think it's important. I am, by far, my worst critic. I am a realist. I know what my hang ups are. I don't sugar coat anything from myself. I think it's important to really look in the mirror everyday of your life and face yourself head on. I believe all these things.

I also think that if you can totally accept yourself as you are today no one can tear you down. If you know that you are pleasantly plump, with beautiful curves, and toning more and more everyday, no one can call you fat and it stick to your feelings. Knowing that your big ass, big nose, big teeth, or big feet belong to you, make you who you are, and add to your beauty defeat the insensitive ass that would try to use these things against you the first time they feel inferior.

I am not a slim girl. I have not been a slim girl in a long time. I workout to become a healthy girl though. That's important to me. I have this crazy neck too. It's a family neck, no turkey similarities, but it is a little rollie pollie. I get annoyed by it, but no one's perfect. I have big feet for my short stature, but I love my tall fabulous friends who I can share shoes with. I don't have the most shapely legs, but I'm really strong and my legs are there, healthy, and can workout on the eliptical for at least an hour and fifteen minutes at a time. I am full of flaws. BUT, I am also overflowing with character and personality. I am who I am, and because I have accepted it whole heartedly no one can steal it away from me or make me feel bad about it!

The Weight Monster, again, with his friend Body Issue Alien

"Women do that. We compare our worst to every body's best." -Marie Osmond, talking about body issues and weight

YES!!! I find that I will compare my flaws to the perfect airbrushed photos in magazines or nip'd and tuck'd stars walking the red carpet. Why do I do this? Why do we, as a gender, do this? I'm typing this and staring at Oprah's new hair and wondering why I can't get my hair to have that body. I can't do it because I don't have a team of the best of the best celebrity hair stylists. I can purchase a matching hair piece or wig though, it will hold my jealousy at bay. Also, I want the curves of the entertainment beauties, but I have to remember it's harder without a chef and trainer. So for this obsession, I'll go cash in my mad money change jar, buy a new pair of Spanx, and with the rest a clip on Oprah Winfrey hair piece.

Seriously with all the products and information out there, it is possible to beat the weight monster and body issue alien, but it's important to be realistic!

Weight Loss the MONSTER

I was talking to some friends, some professionals, and some other members of the overweight club the other day. We compared secrets, diets, prayers, and hopes. Then we came to the conclusion that none of that stuff works. This is really about changing our lifestyles. We have to be able to make good decisions about good foods. We have to learn when enough is enough. Listen to our body cues of fullness, thirst, and true hunger. We have to be smart about weight loss and life. I get that, but now I have to live it.

Embrace the gym, it is my friend! I enjoy working out, but I hate the workout afterwards. With "relaxed ethnic" hair, I have to wash, heavy condition because of the frequency of washing, blow dry, and flat iron. Then I moisturize and tie it up neatly in my silk scarf. This ensures I don't walk around looking like Buckwheat later. It's a lot of work! I have to motivate myself with a scale in the middle of my bathroom floor. I step on it a gazillion times a day. It's not what they tell you to do, but it reminds me of what I need to be doing!

So I focus on what that nice sweet man in the TLC special said about food and eating.

1. When you are hungry...EAT.
2. Eat what you want, not what you think you should eat.
3. Eat consciously.
4. When you are full...STOP!

I have added chug water like you're at a vegan frat party. This makes sense. Duh! It's not easy, but it makes sense. You eat what you want when you want, but with full focus. Savor every bite of your food. Eat it slowly, consciously, so you can hear your body cues. When you have had enough, stop.

I've made changes. I workout with full faith that I just have to show up, do the work, and the results will undoubtedly come. I binge on Subway instead of On the Border, lol, when I do binge. I cut out deep fried foods and sugary drinks. I drink and eat more consciously. I am proud that this time I feel like I'm doing this the right way. It's not going to be easy or quick, but when I get it down to a science it will stick!

I appreciate this body

I was watching Oprah discuss her weight on a past show. She kept saying how much she appreciated her body. I was shocked. I was looking at her appreciate her body with it's new 40 pounds, thyroid issues, and post menopause like, what the hell? It took me so long to understand, even after she began explaining. I had to sit with her revelation for weeks. Now, I appreciate my body. It has taken such a licking to keep on ticking. I am a struggling smoker. I have given birth. I have punished my body for no reason, with diet, with intercourse, with activity. I have treated this temple like a cardboard box, but everyday it works so hard for me. It goes right when I want and left when I want. It gets me up and down. It guarantees my breath, my heart rate, my blood flow, and everything else without a reminder or coaxing. It makes everything possible for me, and never complains. So as a gift back to this body, I'm gonna try harder to kick smoking, workout harder, eat better, and cloth it in garments appropriate for how I feel about it. Because I appreciate this body.

So, instead of just looking at religion to appreciate my temple, I stepped back to see why. This body is dependable and consistent. It gives me clear signs of problems. It works harder for me than I could ever work for it. I love this body, even with its extra weight and imperfections. I love this body.