I was sitting at a dinner table tonight wondering how in the world I have ended up in so much drama. I mean, I mind mine. I don't mingle in the world much. I keep my focus on my own business. Yet, I continue to find myself in these drama filled situations. Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe I'm picking the idiot man that needs drama and bullshit to feel cared for. Then when I don't dish it out he creates it. Why can't I just be your quiet no drama filled friend, with the possibility of benefits? Why must we have to break up daily, compete for each others attention, and argue through text messaging? Why when I'm trying to be the bigger person and avoid the shit, you say what's guaranteed to pull me back in? Why? Why do adult relationships have to be so fucking hard? I mean I'm not husband shopping, boyfriend shopping, and love is a dirty word. How do I have drama?
Also, while I'm man bashing, let me tell all the boys out there if a woman doesn't say you are amazing in any regard it's not to be assumed. Quietly, I have laughed at you, while you built yourself higher than your worth on a variety of topics.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
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