Sunday, May 24, 2009

Holier than thou

So the other day Jackie Burkhart confessed to pushing men towards her own goals just to be disappointed later. I was watching reruns of That 70's Show. So, I thought about this. I stepped outside of myself and just focused on how women screw up relationships by demanding too little or too much.

Then today I was sitting with the neighbor girl talking about her love life. I was so holier than thou. I was giving her all my 28 year old wisdom, probably overwhelming her 19 year old brain. It was the standard. I'm sure someone had told me these things when I was young, dumb, and in love. Don't lose yourself in your boyfriend. In 6 months to a year this relationship will seem so trivial to you. Trust your instincts. If something seems wrong investigate, but only if it's worth it. Do not investigate like CSI just pay attention. Typically men aren't that interested in hiding anything well. Don't date anyone that's not at least your equal in terms of drive, dedication, and motivation. Do not settle for less than what you know you are worth having. If you don't know what you are worth having, ask a true friend. A true friend will tell you 100 times more than you initially thought. Don't take his crap! If he cannot respect you at all times, in all situations, let him go. Never fight for a man not worth fight for, it's tacky. Never, under any circumstances, have a physical altercation, it's low class.

So I'm sitting across from her, both of us sitting with our legs crossed. She's hanging on my every word, and I'm hanging on Jackie Burkhart's every word. Because, I need to hear myself better. I have been sacrificing, settling, and making excuses. I have only had half a man when I've had something to call a man. No more! I'm going to take my own advice. Because I give the best advice, ask anyone. But, my life has been topsy turvy because I've been sitting with my legs crossed acting holier than thou.


  1. Leandrea,

    Thank you for the follow! By the way your profile pic is gorgeous!

  2. Good for you! It's a wonderful sign of obvious growth when we can see what we need to do to reach the point we're trying to reach!

  3. Leandrea,
    What a wonderful post! You go girl! You seem to be getting it all together, take time to breathe while you do all of this, and don't forget not to sweat the small stuff! love your little guy because someday he won't be so little or be around for you to love on a daily basis! anyhow,i'm sitting here smiling and clapping for you, do you see me? lol have a great night!

  4. I love this post!

    PS> you've been nominated over at my blog...go see what for ;)


  5. AnonymousMay 29, 2009

    AMEN! It's so funny how we see the irony in giving such wisdom to friends. Glad you caught that and good luck in finding the one who is worthy enough to have you.


  6. Well you know, every relationship isn't so trivial after 6 months to a year. I happen to be 21 but I got my bf at 19. I agree about everything else you said. A woman needs standards (high standards). And trust. If trust isn't there, than nothing is. I'm not going to jump out and get married or anything like that but many opportunities are disguised as hard work.
    Great Post. Get motivated!

  7. Hi, I 'm folowing you now from MBC. It is a great post. Have a great evening! Yonca

  8. Well said!!! It's funny how sometimes when giving someone else advice, we listen to ourselves and realize we could learn a thing or two from our own advice! I've been there too so many times!

    Good for you on realizing your past mistakes with relationships!! I saw Steve Harvey on GMA recently promoting a new book he just wrote about how men view relationships and how to demand the best treatment from a man. I forget the name of the book but it sounded so interesting as I was listening to him speak about it.