Sunday, March 22, 2009

If I could be taller by doing that, I would just be short

Do you know how much taller I'd be if I stood on top of someone else? Really tall, but really lonely and awkward. How many people would want to be the close personal hang out friend of someone between 10' and 11' tall? And, the loneliness would be awful. If I stood on someone else to guarantee I be on a pedestal who would ever trust me again?

So that brings us to the real. I have spent the last few days being stepped on by someone close to me. Every opportunity this person gets they throw me under the bus in an effort to make themselves look better. It doesn't matter if I am competing with them for something or sitting quietly in a back corner reading a book. It is inevitable, my name will be dropped, and dropped hard. WTF! Leave me alone. I want it to stop.

The funny thing about it all was it took someone else to point it out. They pulled me aside and asked me if I though it appropriate I be treated like this. I never noticed it before. That relationship is so strained and difficult I just go with the flow. I take the public assault with thanksgiving that it's not a private over the top bitch fest. Am I kidding myself? Is this relationship just that toxic? This has been occurring for the past 10 years, ever since I didn't fulfill their expectations and broke away from their control. Again, I like who I am. Screw you.

So for anyone out there using someone else to get a few feet on their height, STOP! They should figure out what is so screwed up in their lives that they need to pull other people deep into their shit. Congrats on your accomplishments, but they must not be keeping you warm at night. They must not be feeding your hunger. They aren't giving you something you need and you hate me for it.

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