Wednesday, March 25, 2009

There is a man that I adore

There is a man that I do like. I've written on this topic before. I've written on this man before because he still exists and puzzles me! I do like him though, but work for ever ending happiness with him...NEVER. It shouldn't be this freaking hard. And, and, why does he quickly realize when I'm pulling away and snatch my ass back in.

Tonight he called and started the conversation with, "who's the new man in your life?" I mean it was so very very Big and Carrie Bradshaw. But he's not Mr. Big and I am no Carrie Bradshaw, not even on my most fashionable and emotionally frazzled day. So, I responded to that odd question with "huh? Hello?" Then our conversation progressed and got us both on the same page quickly. He told me that he's upset because I haven't been consistent about the things I asked him to be consistent about. I mean correct me if I'm wrong, but a relationship means I get to talk with you everyday like a crazy person. I text you continuously and you reply immediately. I like that. I want that. I think that's okay. I AM A COMMUNICATOR! He rather see your face than just hear your voice. He doesn't talk to anyone everyday. Doesn't texting = calling? He cares about me, just me. He wants me. Really?

I say how much do you know me? How much do you want to know me? How many random questions about me could you answer? How much are you passionate about the woman I am? Because, I really think you like my face and the potential to push said face into a pillow while you have your way with me. It's just what I was thinking though. And now, Steve Harvey has this no nonsense book that confirms what I think, but have carefully hidden away. Steve Harvey agrees that it doesn't matter just how handsome and sexy he is or how safe and comfortable he can make me feel, he's just not my guy. DAMMIT!

So against Steve Harvey I will continue to keep this man. I will adore this man. I will like this man. But, I will only give this man as much as he gives me. I will not call him everyday like a crazy person. I will not play relationship with someone who is obviously just planning to be my friend. Because at the end of the day he does legitimately care for me, but not enough. Not even near enough for me to live happily ever after.

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